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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 20, 1892)
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE : SUNDAY , MARCH 20 , 1892-SIXTEEN PAGES. 15 I AND OTHER STORIES. BY "M. QUAD" . Special ntlonllon Is called to the fact that THK Ilr.r. nan exclusive use In Its territory of "M. Quad's" ' current writings. lrt > l > l/rt0MttllK fci/r. . Atirfo.l AFAHKwnu-Mondnynlghtthatlargo and miusivo duffer known by the name of Hank IMcrson , who has boon trying to pose as n , bad man among us , con cluded to take our ndvlco and change climate * . Ills road lay past the Klckor ofllco , and as n sort of furowoll to us ho flrod tlirco bullets through ono of the windows. Wo got out as soon ns possi ble and flrod a charge of buckshot at something black moving off. Next morning Hank's loft hand coatlall was picked up on the street UOO foot west of our olllro , and wo shall add it to our stock of rolics. Wo were uftcr both coallails , having twenty-seven buckshot in the gun , but it was too dark for straight shooting. MIHSKD A Coo. The great Nineteenth Century Dramatic company was billed ( or two nights here last week , but failed , lo open up. As editor of the ICickcr wo nro entitled to six free tickets lo any show. As owner of the only hill in town wo are usually given a do/.on. As mayor were are novel- complimented with loss than twenty. The agent of the above organization attempted to stand us oft with a pass for two , and the result was ho mih8ud a cog and his machinery got out of order. If theatrical companies can do business in this way wo uhnll not complain. It lias always boon our aim k o uphold the dignity of the pross. and we Hhnll continue right in that line , no matter whoso feelings are hurt. A SttNSim.n VJIUIMUT. Wo under stand that a juryof cowboys over In Clinch valley , who were called upon to not in the case 6f n stranger- found dead about n wcok ago , returned a verdict that ho crime to bib death while fooling with a gun. While nothing in said to who the gun belonged , the verdict is n sensible ono. Instead of throwing any additional mystery ever tlio ease It makes it plain that ho was riding off On a 4-yoar-old mule which didn't belong to him. No atlompt was made to Hud out the stranger's name or whether ho had an undo in Chicago or nn aunt In Phila delphia. Tito past tense has mighty littto to do with a chap who iu caught fitonllug d Clinch valley mulo. Ho Is Hi/oil up on iho present tense and planted accordlnply. Wo think the man called at the Kicker olllco Iho week before and offered to write us a $5 loader on the Chilian question , but wo declined and ho stole our toothbrush and de parted. NOT NKKDKD At its last mooting the > common council passed an ordinance aimed at tlio do/.on or moro citizens who got drunk every evening and nmuso themselves shooting at every stray dog on tlio btrcots. It seemed to bo needed just then , but wasn't two days later. His honor the mayor ( who is oursolf ) broke up the prnctico in ono ovomng , alone find single-handed , and saved tlio town at least $50 expense. IIo discov ered and kicked and disarmed fifteen different men , and the guns taken from thorn will bo sold at auction Sat urday. This town has at last ot a mayor worthy of the name , and wo congratu late tlio public on the fact. Thus far his administration has boon a grand success , and wo haven't the slightest doubt that ho will bo governor of Ari zona in less than llvo yoara IT'S His WAY Our contemporary down thu street met with an accident to his old rnmshnclclo press the other day nnd appealed to us to help him out. "Wo cheerfully agreed to work off his inside pigcs : on our now and elegant power press , and of course wo counted the copies to &oe what , his circulation 'was. It still slood at the same old figure i 401 ; but ho had had the chock to sot 'up ' the claim In that very issue , "This paper has the largest circulation of any journal in Arizonal" Poor old chap ! IIo was a failure as an editor twenty years ago , and of the thirteen different bullets ho has fired at at us not ono came within three feet of hond or heel. Ho has to use carpet tacks to eke out his supply of typo , and it'a n holiday with him when ho 1ms roast coyote for dinner. ER ON VANITY. "I has bin koopin trnck o' things fur n , peed m any y'urs past , " snld Brother Gnrdnor as ho nroau and looked nround the hnll , "an I has cum to do conclushun dnt a big nhoor of our trubblos inn solely duo to vanity. I Boloinnly believe dtir nm mo' vanity in do cull'd race to do squai1 fut dan unyoddorpcoploon iiirtlu Many morabors ob dis club cum to mo jvld'dolr tvubbloa an tribtilaahuas , an in CIIBOS out o1 ton I kin trace do cause to vanity. ' ' The president paused here to consull the tliorinoinotor haiirln { < ; near , and after noting that itrocordod 102 degrees ubnvo , ho continuad : "Tako do case of Elder Toots , for in- Blanco. Ho hab a steady job at 87 par wcok in the lumber yard. IIo got up to dat elevated p'lnt whar ho had oggd an bacon fur breakfast an whar ho could drop ton oonta into do ohiiroh contri- liUHliiin box , an don vanity atoppod in to vrock him. IIo boughtfo * boxes of paper bllitrs at ono tlino ; ho ordered iuo cream fur Sunday ; ho 'lowed his wlfo to ( in a hlt'h tea on her birthday ; ho ebon ilun rcntod a | ) lane at $ o pur month fur jila eal 'Liza to drum on. In joat filx vyookB do elder , IIB yo' all know , wan knocked out an appcnlin to ilia club to lend him money to git his dawg out o' pound. " ho older , who occupied ono of the front stools , blow bis nose mid wiped his oyoa and evidently felt broken up , and Urotlior Gardner wont on : "TnUo do OUBQ of Samuel Shin. No body in dls world thought him anything mo1 dan common. Ho was sort o' scrub- bin around on two dollum a wool : an mighty glnd to git a squar' meal , when his aunt down in Arkansas died an left him twonly-sovon dollars in cash. Do ininit Samuel got hold of dat money a great change uun cum obor him. JIo -\vnlkod up an down befo' do banks ; ho talked of rontln a box in do possoilico ; ho priced oborcoats as higli aa alxty dol- lars. 1 advised him to hulodom twenty- Bovon dollars in an oyster can till ho had pot obor do shock of sudden wealth , hut Vanity wouldn't Mow him to , Ho plunged. Ho reckoned dat he could buy half do alrth. IIo carried his- ' as aiuT us a poker , an ho wouldn't ' . oak to fartln members of dis club who fuoun * wear alligator shona. Wlmr am Itruddor Shuin now ? Vanity wrecked him. IIo alts obor dar by do alloy doah crushed , broken an achin to ask Given- dam Jones to lend him nine cents \c \ in ale y a now start in llfo. " Samuel hung his head to uscapo ob lorvallon , nnd several momhors acted as t they would llko to get outdoors bo- ere anything lurtlior wus hoard to droai "Waydown Boboo , our socrotnry , am not yore dls oavonln * , " observed the president , as ho glanced over nt the apot usually occupied by that individual. "Am his wife dead ? Am his cabin nil-nod down wia no Insurance11 ; Was ho called to Chicago or UtilTalo by do sud denness of n telegraph ? No sahi Six weeks ngo while ho was contentedly iioggln * along on $7 per week a white man told him dat he looked like Cicero. Hruddor Hoboo aoan' know Cicero from Binoral Jackson , but ho felt proud nnd llattorod. Ho wwnt right out an' bought real linen collars an' a W-cont ) necktie , an' some Im1r ilo an' a watch chain , an' next day ho quit his job an' walked around talkln' 'bout free trade an' tollln' what tilled do kontry. T mot him In a feed ntore , whar' I was buyln' stull fur my chickens , an' ho told mo ho was dun gwino to becum iv lawyer. Van ity was cllmbin' all ober him. IIo am not'j-oro tonight bocaso ho didn't llko to cum bnr'fut , an' his wlfo'3 shoes am too small fur him. IIo tun a lltmnshul wreck of do furst water , an' vanity am do cause of It. Ho was bo'n to bo Waydown Boboo ; ho sighed to bo Ctcoro. llostilt bankruptcy. " Colonel ICyann Johnson now miulo a slldo for thodoo- , but before ho reached It Hrolhor Gardner stopped him and said : "Ono mo' case dat of Kurnol John son. A month ngo do kurnol was work- in' in a woou yard up nigh my cabin. Ilo was doln so well dat heaps o' folks was jealous of him. lladhokopt right on ho would have bccum the Standard Ilo company of dat nayborhood ; but in tin evil moment somebody diskivcrcd do fact dat his ha'r was almost straight tin his butos only No. J's. ) Dat settled him. lie quit his job an walked around arm in arm wld Vanity. H lot his wife buy lace curtains an plush klvorcd cheers , an he hung around do city hall an gin his views on do Chilian quoshun. His career was brief. If do city hall was offered him tomorror for a dime ho couldn't ralso do cas'i. " The colonel got up to make some sort of reply , but words failed him and ho resumed his seat with a bang and strug gled with something which appeared llko ouiotton , but might have boon colic. "Darfo' I say to you , an' 1 say it in all airnostnosH , " concluded the president , "to bowar' of vanity. It nm wuss dan a a tliiof in do night. Drink steals away yo' brains fur only half a day , but vanity takes possession of yo'r hull head fur weeks at a time. Bo proud of do fact dat yo'wasn't bo'n wid a short log or humped back or ono eye , but doan't lot vanity make yo' bcliovo dat dar was any sposhual roas'on fur yo'r entrance into this world. Wo am all jest common cull'd folkes , sortpr waitin' around to sco wlmt's gwiuo to happen on do next change of do moon. Wo hain't no call to bo purty or proud , artd do world uoan' kcor whether wo sot down r.t homo on cuno seat cheers or red plush sofas. " M. QUAD AND THE FREAKS. Moro than twenty years ago I foil In with Prof. Somebody or Other , who was a professor of Something or Other , and ho brought up the subject of transmigra tion. Wo were traveling in a Btago- coach and expected to bo hold up at ov'ory mile , and I also had the jumping toothaco. For these reasons I didn't argue the matter with him , and because I had no chance to nrgo I was more than half satisfied of the correctness of the theory as expounded by him. "Yes , gentlemen , " said the professor , as wo took a short cut over a windfall to avoid throe "agents" waiting at a bond in the road with bated breath , "ovory ono of us will simply take on a now form after death. There is a man right here among us who will probably bo changed into a fat woman or an osslllod man , and you will sco him exhibited at a dime ' " museum ! I knew ho mount mo. Everybody know it. IIo was looking right at mo as lie said it 1 didn't believe it at first , but as time wont on the idea became - came stronger and stronger , and for the last seventeen years I have felt that I had that fate in btoro for me. I have dream- . that I was n fat woman adver tised as weighing760 pounds , and I have dreamed that 1 was an ossified man , with the public feeling of my toes ano , lingers and asking mo for a leg or an arm as i rollc to label and lay away in n parlor cabinet. Many a morning I have awoke under the impression that I was ton minutes late for the first after noon exhibition , and many nn evening 1 have started up from my chair with a feeling that I had boon fined $5 by the manager tor absenting myself from the platform before the show was over. However , I am relieved at last I have taken moro real comfort in the last wcok than for a do/.on years before. I went ever into the Bowery in Now York , sev eral days ago , with a determination to know the worst and prepare for It , nnd the result was a gratifying surprise. I found the champion fat woman on a museum platform. Slio looked exactly a ? I had dreamed that I would look. Thoao 7oO pounds of fat were draped around her In the most artistic manner , and a stranger from Troy was asking her how she managed to climb the trees In harvest apple timo. For llvo minutes I foil that I had died and been transmi grated , Then the Troy man wont wn.ii- uorlng around to see if ho could find a Troy laundry among the curios , and I stopped forward and told the fat woman the whole story from beginning to end. "Don't yur believe It ! " she emphati cally replied when I had finished. "If such a thing were possible , how is it , with so many hundreds dying around us every day , that there are only six of ua champion fat women now in the busi ness' ' ' If there was anything in the the ory thorp'd bo 10,000 of us looking for engagements and salaries would go down until a fat woman couldn't earn her salt. " I thanked her from the bottom of my heart , and she kindly continued : "But oven if it were possible , which I glvo you my word of honor it isn't you wouldn't bo no badly olf. There's lots of things worbo than being a fat woman at a thumping big salary. You are the star attraction. The Zulu and the anaconda and the ossified man are not in U. If a bit giddy you can always have a flirtation on hand ; if past the giddy ngo you have lots of time to do plain Bowing and visit with the { . 'lantoss. Don't bo upset , sir. While you can't possibly bo trans migrated into u fat woman , requiring n whole car to herself when she traveln , and who has appeared before her majesty on three dllloront occasions , il it should BO bo , then don't throw it ever your shoulder. You have got a good thing of it and will never have a regret. " 1 couldn't toll her how happy I felt , but she had a bonaitiva nature and un derstood , Then I wont over and re peated my-Etory to the ossified man. Ho never once interrupted mo , but when J had finished hoquiotly Bald : "You have been stulfed. While I take no stock In atutlod specimens , I ngioo with the fat woman that It can never bo. Ossified men are born not transml grated. If every Tom , Diok and Harry in this country could bo turned into an oasilled man the dime museums would lave lo go and natural freaks would bo used for hop poles. If you'll take the word of a- man who has boon A star at traction for thirty years , you need do no moro worrying , " I tried to make him realize how brinkful I was , and ho smiled an ossi fied stnllo and replied : "That's all right. I'm triad you came o mo about If you ought to hunt down that professor and kill him. I say It can't bo , but If by any possibility it should bo , you will bo expected , as nn ossified man. to stick for regular rates and kick against ever four performances on Sunday. Make no engagement for .ess than two weeks , and stipulate that 'on are lo bo carried up and down stairs y here there nro no elevators. As an W8slllcd man , bo content. There la money on It , nnd no saivlng wood. Maintain lyotir dignity with the Albino , have no flirtations with the tattooed girl , and should the fat woman attempt to bo pat- ronixlng , at once remind her that an os sified man was the beginning of the whole museum business , nnd that no show coulet run for D week without him. " _ M. QUAD. T.t/.lv OK HKAL VOVXa PEOVL1S. Boston Herald : A young miss who has been to the theater but two or three times , and then to sco plccea in which there wus no ballet , was taken the other afternoon to iv performance where the ballot was one of the principal features. She was accompanied by her father nnd elder sister , and when she came homo her mother asked her how she liked the performance. Her reply was well re ceived by the mother , but not so much appreciated by the father. "I liked it pretty well , " she said , "but I couldn't see the people through the glasses , for papa was using them all the timo. There wtut a lot of girls who didn't have tiny clothes on but a HUlii ruoliing around their waists , and they kicked up awfully. Oh , you ought to have soon papa laugh. IIo is going to take me again , mamma , for ho said ho would. ' ' Papa remained silent. * # Detroit Free Press : Two llttlo glrltt who were playmates got into an ani mated discussion ever the advantages of their respective homos. Asa clincher ono of them said : "Wo got the mail three times n day at our homo. " "Oh , " Bald the other , "that's nothing ; it comes here every two hours. " When the visitor was gone , the mother of the little hostess , who had overheard her , took her to task : "How could you say the mall came every two hours , NollioV" eho asked gravely. "It does , " said Miss Nellie promptly , "doesn't grandpa come ever here as often oa that ? " And the small sophist looked at her mother t riumplmiitly. jf. . ) ( . Washington Star : "You may bo president some dny. " "Yes , sir. " replied the energetic lad. "I know it. " "What would you do if vou were presi dent of the United States ? " "Oh , I didn't moan that kind , i want to bo president of a brewery. * * San Francisco Wasp : A 3-yoar-old girl was hoard whispering to herself , though quito inuudibly , at the table. "What were you saying , Narcissa ? " her father asked. "I WHS just saying : 'If no one was taking care of mo I should help myself to those preserves. " Good News : Little Nell Mamma says th' preacher says bonuty is a curse. What does that moan ? Little brother That means if mensand womons was all ugly thero'd never bo any moro fighthv and quarrolin' . ' 'Why wouldn't there ? " " 'Cause nobody'd ever marry anybody , " * Indianapolis Journal : "Do you read the bible , Waldo ? " "O , yes , almost every day , : > replied the little Boston boy. "Scarcely a day passes that in my reading I do not find some reference to it which requires ver ification. " . P. Texas Sittings : ' 'What can I do to induce you to go to bed now ? " asked a Harlem mamma of her 5-yoar-old boy. "You can let mo sit up a little longer " was the youngster's reply. * # Teacher What do you say before oat- ing. Bobby ? Bobby Nothin' , ma'am. Teacher Well , what docs your father say ? Bobby IIo generally says , "Is that ail you've got for supper ? " SU.11K t < OTKl ) MK.Y. f Ex-Hrosldonr. Cleveland had a brand now birthday anniversary on thu 18th last , IIo was ! > r years old on that day. President Harrison gets up his state papers - pors lu u legal and rod-tapo style , gust as U ho was preparing briefs , John C. Clotncnts of Georgia , newly appointed - pointed interstate commerce commissioner , is a Baptist deacon , a cleric of the Georgia Bap tist , association and its Sunday school con vention. N C. Creodo , who recently roamed tlio mountains of Colorado a poor and friendless prospector , is said to have been offered * 1OOJ , < WO by D. 11 , MoJTdtt for bis inter , est In the Amotuyst mino. The ofTor wa refused. s Major General O. O. Howard lost his right arm nt the battle of Fair Cults. It was to lit m that General Phil Kearney , who had lost hi ; loft arm at Cbapultopec , made the famous remark : "Howard , you and I will have to buy our gloves m partnership. " General Gourkn , povornor eonoral of Hus sion Poland , is a halo and vigorous soldier of Ot ycar.s , nnd ho is not Koine to resign his nlttco as has boon reported. ' 1 lie czar knows bis value too well. A bronze statue of the I a to John Planhln- ton of MilwauKco , Is to bo set up In the lobby of the hotel In thnt city which boars his namo. H. II. I'urlt is the sculptor commis sioned by the family to perform the task. Padorowsui has been presented by his Boston admireri with a beautiful wreath of laurel In silver. Thov were considerate cnoiiKh not to InsUt that ho should wear it as the Komaa conquerors were theirs , They did not want to dlsarraiieo his hair. Among the witty doJlnlllons that bavoboon credited to eminent men the following bv In- Rorsoll is imi-tleulcrly neat : "A politician U n man who wants the people to do something for him ; a statesman is a man who wants to do boruethinK for the people. " U P. A. Healy , tuo portrait painter , > s pajsluc bis time while in Chicago at a family hotel , where ho appears in the corridors clad In a loo3G-llttng ( suit of black and wearing stcol-riniined spectacles. Ha h said to ba very genial and humorous In a quiet way , Ills fnco is slightly ilorid and his hair boglns to show the frost of many winters. Ward McAllister's only aaughtor was visiting not long aeo in Philadelphia , and at , a luncheon given iu her honor assumed ulrs of superiority which caused the other women present mingled anjnsomont nnd rago. Dur ing the luncheon she remarked in a supercil ious tone to a bright girl on her right ? "Ah , have you any ono hero who fills the some what important place m society that papa dnos In Now Yorlcl" "Oh , yoi , several , " sweetly replied the girl addressed ; "but they are all colored mou. " J'jtrouizo llomu Industry , and specify iu your purchase : that you want goods made iu Nebraska factories and pro duced by Nebraska soil. All whiskies nnd spirits ot any Idnd manufactured by Her fc Co. unit iho Willow Springs distillery are made in the itato and from Nebraska grain , consuming U.OOJ bushels par duy. Insist upon .your dealer furnishing homo made Roods ; ' , hey are equal to Iho boat anil covt 110 more. Assist homo induitries. Forceful Reasons WhynThoy Should ba Under Qovornmnt Control , > ii > LOWER RATES AND IMPROVED SERVICE , _ _ L' ' / t Item It Work * In OtliniMCntiiitrle < A Tor- foctly Constitutional ttprcNn of l-cnvcr Trend of r.tperlim-lit ami Discov ery In iii-cttlc : l Mutters. The question ot government control of telegraph anil telephone Is treated by the Hon. U'altor Clark , of the bench of North Carolina , In the March Arena. Ho takes it for granted that It Is a perfectly constitutional thing for the poatolllces to handle messages of this kind and dwells more upon the cheap ness nnd effectiveness of such nn insti tution : livery civilized country with the solo exception of ours , has long slnco made the olograph u part of Us postal service , and in all It hii : worked satisfactorily. The rates in Great Hrittiln and Ireland are , like postage , uniform for all dis tances and are 1 cent per word. In Ger many the rate is about the same and In Austria less. In Franco and Ilolgium the rate is under 10 cents ( half a franc ) for ton words between any two points. No department of the postolllce In any country pays better than the telegraph. In most countries the telephone , too. has boon added. It is very certain that the telegraph and telephone , as parts of our postal service , would not only wonderfully improve the moans of intercourse , but it is believed that a very cheap uni form rnlo probably 5 cents n message would pay a'handsome revenue to the government. In the presence of the ex orbitant rates to which wo are accus tomed this will seem hazardous ; but ro- llectlon will show that It is not , Telegraph - graph wlro costs less than $8 per mile ; poles In our country are not expensive , the cost of erecting them light. The chemicals for use of the wires are in expensive. Whore , then , is the cost ? The government pays freight to r.ill- roads , steamboats and btar routes , and sends letters across the continent at 2 cents and around the world for 5 cents. The "last postmaster-general's report states that while , owing to the cost of heavy packages and matter carried frco , there is a deficiency iu the postollico , yet on the carriage of letters there is a not revenue nnnuallyi $3t > ,000OUO. Why , then , is it ehjuiorical to say that messages sent by wire , at the cost of a few p\i.eap \ chemicals and with no frolgnti to bo paid , would not pay a prollf' ' .lit 5 cents per message of ten words ? * It may bo noted that the telephone pnttint expires next March. Now is the tl'ino for congress _ to adopt it for the postolllco and establish a telephone at every country postolllco. The advantages to the" rural population would bo manifold. Hytaciaiis could ba summoned promptly for'tho sick. Wit nesses and others summoned to court could bo notified whjxi day or hour to attend , and be saved useless hours hang ing around the couutyiu:0urt house. A telephone message to tiQ ) nearest rail way statioii'Wovild ascertain whether ex pected freight had come , and the farmer would bo wived a noodloas trip of his wugon over bad roads. News of approaching preaching frosts could bo promptly dis tributed through the country districts , and many a valuable crop saved. Those may seem homely purposes to dwellers in cities , but they will deprive country life of some of its drawbacks , and bo a bopn to a portion of our population who claim that they bear their full share of the burdens of gov ernment and receive less than their share of Us bonollts. It comes , too , nt a time when they are disposed to assort and maintain their right to bo better considered in a distribution of the ad vantages of governmental favor. For this service it might well bo provided that for telephonic messages within the county or for a distutico less than fifty miles the charge would bo only 2 cents. A system similar lo this now prevails in Austria nnd some other countries. The pystmaster could very easily keep his accounts , either by the use of stamps or by a nlcUol-in-tho-slot attachment to the instrument. If the telephone is not now adopted by government , gome gigantic corporation , some vast syndicate , will bo sure to utilize it ; und when hereafter government shall bo forced to take it up for the public service , congress will bo waived olT , as trespassing upon private and vested rights , ns is already the case wlln the telegraph. TclOKrnuhy IVltlinut Wlron. The trend of experiment and discovery in electrical matters Is today toward a solution of the problem of sending tele graphic messages without wlre.s , or in other words through the air , and oven through substances. These discoveries have lo do with electric waves or vibra tions , and uxparimontpra are hard nt work to conquer and make use of the now phenomena. In this country Nicola Tosln , in Kngland , Lodge , and in Ger many the scientist HorU , have all been experimenting. From a recent news paper report it appears that Tesla lwj been able to demonstrate the power and action of these waves , and ho recently brought the matter before the members of the American Institute of Engineers. IIo made ut-o of n dy"rVitino which pro duced waves of imiiumso rapidity and high power. "Tho cent from the dynamo was led to twojnotal plutes , t > o placed that ono was mi either sldo of the lecture room wullfi'und they wore directly opposite each plhor. When Iho current was turned onj 'was ' discovered that the electric w.ivud generated by the dynamo were carried or propagated through iho air of thui room from one plate to the other , aiiA.Hftthout any com municating medium visible to tlio oyu , Himh as u wlro. Kxtftufrdinary results were produced , which fascinated the spectalors. They woro' tnesslng some thing now , 8tartUiig'ii perhaps almost appalling in Its suggosrtyo possibilities. When Mr. Tesla heldoiin his hand the carbon lilamonts of atVdootrlo ) lamp so that a line drawn from ono of the plates to the other would pass through the lamp , very brilliant incandobconco was produced , No metallic faiib- stance whatever connected the lamp with the plates. When he withdraw the lump , HO that it was no longer within riingo between the two plates , the light was extinguished in stantly. " From this experiment all sorts of possibilities have boon predict ed , nnd a now era predicted for the com mercial use of the valuable dlacovory. What has been done abroad in the same Hold may bo gathered from the February number of the Fortnightly Review : "Hays of light will not pierce through u wall , nor , as wo know only to well , through a London fog. But the elec trical vibrations of a yurd or more in wave-length of which I Jiavo spoken will oailly pierce such mediums , which to them will bo transparent Horothou , is revealed the bewildering possibility of telegraphy without wires , posts , ca bles , or any of our costly appliances. Granted n few reasonable postulates , the whole thing comes well within the realms of possible fulfillment. At the present time experimentalists are able to generate electrical waves ot any do- sit od wave-length from a tow foot up ward , and to keep up a succession of such waves radiating inlo space in nil directions. It is possible , too , with some ot those rays , It not with all , to ro- fi-act them through suitably shaped bodies acting as lenses , and so direct a shout of rays in any given direction ; enormous lons-shnpcd masses of pitch and similar bodies have been used for this purpose. Also , an experimentalist nt a distance can receive some , if not all , of those rays on a properly constructed Instrument , and , by concerted signals , messages in the Morse code can thus pass from ono operator to another , what , therefore , remains to bo discov ered is : First , simpler and moro certain means ot generating elec trical rays of any desired wave length , from the shortest , say of a few foot in length , which will easily pass through buildings nnd fogs , to those long waves whoso lengths are measured by tons , hundreds , and thou sands of tulles ; secondly , moro delicate receivers which will respond lo wuvo lengths between certain defined limits and bo silent to all others ; tlilrdlyincans of darting the sheaf of rays In any do- feirod direction , whether by lenses or re- Hectors , by the help of which the sensi tiveness of the receiver ( apparently the most dllltcult of the problems to bo solved ) would not need to bo so deliento tas when the rays are simply radiating into sp.ico in all directions , and fading away according to the law of inverse " squares T.ir.K AHUVf II OJ//7.V. The first woman over plncud on the school board of BulTulo is Mrs. Lily Lord Tilt , who was recently appointed. Mrs. Cleveland Is said to llvo In apprehen sion that her llttlo daughter will bo kidnaped by some ruthless villain. It is altogether a mistake tn suppose that a girl cannot use her eyes to Illrt with Just because cause she hn * to wear oye-jjlnsso1 ! . The only way to win In an argument with a woman is to wain on" when you have stated your sldo of It. Pnrlmps tbore was an inspiration In Mlsi Droughton'8 selection of tun Quaker City n the nlaeo for her Homo of Kust lor Horses but at any rate the scheme has proved prnctl cal and successful. Several women have boon permitted to practice dentistry In Donnmrk after having passed the regular examinations , Miss MeEvoy has boon appointed cashier of n Now Voru hotel. Doubtless she will soon bo able to wear as big diamonds ns the rest of them. The women of Poland will wear inournlnu during IS'.U ' to commr-inorato the contonnry of the loss of Poland's national indopondanco. Tanausohok , the actress , has the newest thing iu pels. She has adopted u nair of guinea pu-j and has carried thorn about with her during this outire season. The empress of Uormanv is in the habit of writing for a few minutes dally in her diary. Nobody ever sees the contents of the diary not even the omporor. At the close of the year n now diary is opened , nnd the old one , which has a locked clasp , is consigned to the Iron safe containing her majesty's ' domestic jowolry. Apart from her intense piety and great energy - orgy , Mrs. Spurgoon is n woman of some ac complishments. She lias something of the pool's faculty , and although vorv rarely rending any work of llction , has told her friends innumerable little anecdotes indicat ing tlio brightness of her imagination. Patti is going to blossom out asau amateur tragedienne. She has Just lold young Salvini that she intends to play Sanfuzza iu "Cav- nllorlti Husilcana" at her castle next sum mer , and before n few chosen friends. Sal- vini promptly offered to play Turridu to hf r Santuzzo , and the offer was as promptly ac cepted. Mrs. Potter Palmer has asked permission of the Gorman government to uuvo the grand bronze doors of the Strasburg cathedral re produced for the woman's building of ttio ox- poslUon , because tbcso doors were designed and wrought by a woman , Sablna Steinboch. who was the sister , assistant nnd adviser of the architect. Mrs. Gabricllo Greeloy Clondouin is a woman " man of medium height ; "sho has dark brown huir , eve which it is hard to tell Just what color they are , for at time * tlioy seem hnzol , and at other moments black as'jet , tbon in a tender mood they look a melting brown , The mouth is 11 i-ni and sweet , and the noise of tuohe.id and nock that in which an artist would delight. Kosa Bunhour has Just completed a paint ing for which she has refused fti,000 ) , The Empress Eugenie was one of the llt-st to roc- oznizo the merits of the talented woman painter , nnd it UMS by 'the empress's wish mat she received the decoration she pnzos so highly. Not lone ago a Chicago wife induced her husband to promise to give her nil the silver coins ho received bearing an o'dd dalo. Then she wrote a number of friends with whom her husband does business , and nslted them to pay ever to her husband as many such coins as they could. They did so , and bo ivas soon surprised beyond measure to Ilnd that a remarkably largo number of his bills there after were paid in small com , which his wlfo promptly confiscated under his own proposi tion. IIo would hove boon bankrupted very speedily hod ho not "smelt a rat" and promptly struck his colors by affecting a compromise. Mine. J'attl somewhat , surprised her mana ger on her recent trip from Louisville to Pittsburg , when she had u spacial train , by asking lo have Iho speed .slackened , or rntbcr iho Irain stopped. At lhat particular momonl It was making remarkable time Her request having ucon complied with , she ntopned off the cars nnd'oxorclscd her pet skyofor II f teen minutes , and then allowed the Journey lo bo resumed. i if 1 won. x tori. InvcbtmcnU in our Treasury SlouU will pity 25 per cent , mid upnnrd pur annum Money to lie iiM'J In pxti-ml liusliioss Ilckt bulk references. Kl'KXOKU 1IAKI.NG I'OWllHIt CO , CHICAGO. Baby's one ek is like a poach , Is it Madama Rupport's bleach ? No ! but baby's mama'n.cheok "Volumes to its praise doth speak ! Cnll for .Mine. Ilupporl'i book , "How to bo Benull- fill" of lira. J , lliMuim. 210 H. IJIIi Hi. , Omnbn , Nnu. I have a ( wsitlro reined ? far tlia obuvo dluuM ; br Its unu tIIOIIBjnd of C/IBOj of this vrorat Ilnd nnd of long t-tan Jmc have been cured. Indued no ttrong l > mj hltu iu Its etllcacjr. Hut I will sand TWO r.orn.Ll nice , with a VAI.UA1ILK TUUATJHK on thu dlionne tu * nj nuf. f eror who trill § enl wa thair Kzprvu anil I' . O , adcJreM. T. A. Slocum. DI. C' . , 183 i'uurl St. , N. V. .Fcr LOST or FAILING MANHOOD , flOtneraltndUEEVOUS DEBILITY , ' Wealcneii of Body o ad Mind , Effect * Ulcf ErroriorExceuei in Old or Young , IU.I.UII , KtLlr IUM1UOU r llt KnUrrd. ! ! Iu fulirrr aid bmanktiii7UkiMii.Truiri > \sjLrtKTSoiiiuui ! iUelulHr uftllUt IIIDJK TKKiTHIOT-liriitOU In Htr , Utu Irtllf ; Inmt ( u Ulilri lad I ortlfu t ocXrlri. n till lira. iJrtcrlplliv Uwl , ciplimlloDanJ i > reort a&Ucdiftlr4)frrfl ( ) ida. . ERIEMCDICALCO.BUFFAlO.H.Y , INTEREST RfllDONDEPOSITS ATQMAHAlOflN&TRUSTCQ 5AVIN&S BANK SE1CDR. IBf" DOUGLAS 5T5. CAPITAL'-B IOO.OOO.OO DIRECTORS iAU.WYUAN-C.VV.NASH IHMIOARO CUV-CUARTON-C.D.LAKE. J.J.OFtOWN-THbs-L.KIMHALL. 3ANTA I am a Trav'llnjf mnn 1 I'll ' tell you of my plan. In spite of nil temptation 1 pursue my old vocation , I'm still a Trav'llng mnu I A jolly Fnlrbank manl CHORUS : For he himself has said It , And it's greatly to his credit , Thai he Is a Trav'llng mnn I That he Is a Falrbank m , j SANTA CLAUS SOAP Sold by Traveling men nnd Grocers Everywhere. Manufactured only by N. K. FAIRBANK & CO. , Chicago , III. y The UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS that the Behr Bros. & Go's. PIANO Have attained , and the high prnlso they have rlldteil from the unrlil'sMOST IMS- NOWNIH ) ARTISTS , from Hie press anil from a public long projiultreil in furor ol hlcr makes , it is Palo to assume that the instrument mint lie possussu 1 of UN COM JION ATTKIHUTKS. ATTKIHUTKS.MAX MEYER Sc BRO. CO. , Sole Agents , Omaha , Nebraska , Established iS66. 1316 Douglas Street , Omaha , Neb. Tn eminent * porlall t In norvons , clironlc , private , blood , iklnnnit untmrj ilbnmos A rognlAr und KKl'trrcit cniilimto In mcnlrlno. ni diploma * nnd cortltiratna show. 19 still treating with Ilia iirtntoit lucccu e larrh. > purmatorrhooaloit mnnliooQ. aomlnM wonknpj * . Tilklit losioi , luipotency , lyplilllv stricture , lion- orrliutm , Klcol , vurlcocelc.ctc. No mercury used. Isow treatment lorlon of % ltul power , Pnrllos nnnblo la Ylslt rno may be treated nt tioma lijr correspondence. MoiUUao or Instrument ! ) rent by mull orexprr&s ourolypacked , no mark ! to tndlcato contents or endor. Ono pcrsonnl lutorvlvw preferred. Conaultalloa Iroo. CnrroipouiSenco itrlctlj private. Jlook ( MjBttrUi of Ufo ) loat Iroo. OfQcu hour * 9 a. at. to p. u. Sundays ID a. rn.to Urn.Bond tuiny lor replj. OF OMAHA. ABSOLUTELY INCANDESCED FIRE PROOF , ELECTRIC LIGHTS PERFECT NOT A DARK VENTILATION OFFICE IN THE BUILDING NIGHT AND DAY ELEVATOR 68 VAULTS , SERVICE , DIRECTORY OF OCCUPANTS : GROUND FLOOR : FOREST TjAWN CEMETERY ASSOCIATION ortVTKEASUUEn. TRUBTEK8 OP THU I'RATT & FERRIH OAT- OMAHA HEAL ESTATE AND TRUST OCX OO. MUIIt & OAYLOIin. Itoal Estate. J. D ANTES. KoUimln Olga'r Stand CITY COMl'TROLLEIt. WOMEN'S i\uiiANan. : FIRST FLOOR : THK OMAHA HEH COUNTING ItOOM , Ad . UKI'ATB ft. CO. , Contractors. vertising and Subscription Departments. WESTERN UNION TEIiEURAl'II OKF10B. AMKKIUAN WATER WORK'S COMPANY. OKNTHAI , LOAN AND TRUST CO. Sl'l'EUlNTENDENT HEE HUIUUNO. SECOND FLOOR. Il.A.WAGNKU.Apontfor tlnltetlFtntcsMutuul THE KQUITAIILE LIFE ASSURANOH 8O- Accident liiHiiriinco Company. OIETYOFNEW YORK. DR. CIIARUS : ROSEWATER. CHRISTIAN bUIENOE ASSOCIATION. 1'ROVIDENT SAVINGS UFn , of Now York. ANGLO-AMERICAN MORTGAGE ft TRUST MAf-SACIIUSr.TTS MUTUAL LIl'i : INSUR- COMPANY. ' IUK : Rl'REAU OF OLAIMS. ANOK COMPANY. DR. II. II. IIIRNKY. NtiMimiil Tliront. OMAHA FIRE JNMJKANCE INSPF.CTION IIIRNEY UATARRIIAL POWDER CO. UUREAU , C. IIARTMAN , Inspector. GRANT UL'LLIMORi : , Dualist uiiU Aurlafc. THIRD FLOOR. JOHN GRANT , CoiitraclorforStrootnwlSide MANHATTAN LIFE INSURANCE OOU. walk I'lUCIIlL'lltH. 1'ANY. ' ROIIERT W. PATRICK , Law OHlces. M. II , TIIAUERJIAN , Attorney. EQUITY COURT NO. j. DR.O.XOAK H. HOFFMAN. EQUITY roURT NO.J. . LAW C-OUKT NO. J. UNITED STATES LIFE INSURANCE CO , J. M. CHAMI1ERH , Abstract * of Nuw York. W.M. SI.Mr.ltAL. E. W. UMKRAL. UHL , Loans , Rual Kstato and Inauranco. H. It , PA'lTEN , DuntlsU FOURTH FLOOR. NORTIIWISTIRN : : MUTUAL LIFE 1N3DKr. . M. rjsJ | " | , Architect. ANun COMPANY THE PATRICK LAND COMPANY , Ownori CONNECTICUT MUTUAL LIFE 1NSUR- of Diinduo Place , ANOE COMPANY. JOHN LKTIIKM , PublNior , I'ENN MUTUAL LIFR INSURANCE COM OMAHA COAL EXCHANGE. PANY. P. F. KKKMir.KO , I'no Palntor. HARTFORD LIFE AND ANNUITY INSURANCE ALEX MOORE. Itiul IC-tiito itnd Ixjuni ANCE COMPANY. THEMERCHANTrf RETAIL OOMMEROIAr , WERSTER ti HOWARD , Insurance. AGENt'Y. ' WESTERN OAR SERVICE ASSOCIATION. KJ Al'J.KTON LAND CO. ANDREW ROSEWATEIt , Siinltury Kiigluour. II. II. MKDAY. J. L. 1ILACK , Civil < ; lIMA.X ARC CO. FIFTH FLOOR. HEAD QUARTERS , U. B. ARMY. DEPART C1IIKF PAYMASTER , MENT OP Till ; PLATTE , : Olllcos. PAYMASTER. DEPARTMENT COMMANDER. AShlfcTANTtiPARTERMASTER. ADJUTANT GENERAL. INSPECTOR SMALL ARMS PRAOTlOa INSPECTOR ( iENEKAL. JUDGE ADVOCATE. CIIIIFOFOIMI.NANOU ; ( JHIEF QUARTERMASTER. OIHKF COMMISSARY OF SUUSISTENCE , AIDK.S-Di.CAMP. : MEDICAL DIRECTOR. ASblSTANT B I. ' HURON. SIXTH FLOOR. II. II ARTMAN.Cast Iron Gaa and Water Pipe. UNITF.D HTATi LOAN ft INVESTMENT C. LAMIIERT bMITII. COMPANY. Till : IMPLEMENT DEALER. O. F. 1JEINDORFF , Arcliltoct. IC. . NASH , l.o un. REED PRINTING CO. HAMILTON LOAN AND'I RUST OO. EIHTORIAL ROOMS OF Till' : IlIvK. Compos U. S. ARMY PRINTING. OFFICES. ing , hioinotyplni ; and Mulling ruutau. MANUFACTURERS AND CONSUMER3 AS- M. A , UPTON CO. , Rual Eslato. SOOJATION. F.A DA WES. SEVENTH FLOOR. THE ROYAL AROANUM PARLOlia A few more elegant office rooms may be had by applying ot R. W , Baker , Superintendent , office on counting room floor